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Planning a wedding that feels like you

By Eliza Thornton 3 min read
Planning a wedding that feels like you - wedding planning
Planning a wedding that feels like you

More than two million weddings took place in 2023, a staggering figure that creates a constant stream of content on social media platforms. Couples often struggle to filter out the noise and plan an event that actually reflects their personalities. The sheer volume of imagery available on Instagram and Pinterest can make it difficult to maintain an original vision.

Escaping the Content Trap

Anny Choi, a bridal stylist based in New York, observes that the endless scrolling often leads to “content overload.” She notes that targeted ads and algorithmic suggestions cause clients to second-guess their initial ideas. “You end up second-guessing everything,” Choi says. She often finds herself acting as a therapist, reminding clients of their original motivations to steer them away from fleeting trends.

This pressure extends beyond attire to venue selection. A snowy mountaintop ceremony might look striking in a photograph, but the reality for guests can be much less appealing. Alison Laesser-Keck, who runs Alison Bryan Destinations, points out that while the photos are beautiful, guests may not enjoy traveling great distances only to freeze or face activities that involve heights.

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Dress Shopping Without the Stress

Financial reality plays a significant role in planning. Anny Choi emphasizes that a higher price tag does not guarantee a better result. Brides often assume they must spend a fortune on a gown, but a specific look, such as a Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy-inspired slip dress, can be achieved for less. Savings in one area can allow for investment in other elements, like an archival after-party look or meaningful jewelry.

Designer Ellen Van Dusen experienced this uncertainty firsthand while planning her own wedding. She spent years searching for a specific graphic Marni dress she had seen eight years prior. Although she eventually found the matching top and skirt, the fit was wrong, and she felt like an impostor. At the last minute, she switched to a yellow Lela Rose gown featuring a large white flower print. “Keep looking until you feel like yourself in something,” Van Dusen advises.

When couples stop trying to impress an online audience and focus on what actually brings them joy, the anxiety of planning tends to dissolve. The day becomes a reflection of their actual life rather than a curated performance for strangers, allowing for choices that feel genuine rather than forced.

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Realistic Destinations and Guest Comfort

Selecting a location requires balancing personal preference with logistical feasibility. Alison Laesser-Keck encourages couples to consider how they like to spend their mornings, whether that involves surfing or a yoga session. However, the financial reality of the guest list must be a priority.

London-based planner Chenai Bukutu warns against choosing venues that are too expensive for the majority of attendees. “Even if the couple is of a certain level of means, that doesn’t mean their guests are,” she says. If a high-end location like Lake Como stretches the budget too much, a more accessible option like Mexico might be preferable. The goal is to ensure guests can travel without stress.

Breaking the Rules

Couples are increasingly finding ways to subvert traditional expectations. Bari Musacchio, owner of Baz Bagel and Rubirosa restaurant, married her partner in Las Vegas. The festivities included an ordained Elvis impersonator, mechanical bull riding, line dancing, cabaret, and karaoke. Musacchio noted that they wanted to avoid being stressed about flower colors or table placements. They kept the event separate from their family celebration to ensure the atmosphere was appropriate for each group.

Eliza Thornton

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